Bestival: Ten alternative costume ideas
Bestival, now only a couple of weeks on the horizon, is probably the only time of the year that you'll be able to wander around in public for days on end dressed up like a total weirdo and not get clattered, muggged or propositioned by some strange Colombian midget dressed in lycra and twirling a foot-long moustache. Or something like that, it's not like I'm speaking from experience or anything. This year, the fancy-dress theme is "Popstars, Rockstars and Divas", and the winner of the award for the best outfit gets two free tickets to every Bestival until the end of time. Pretty sweet, eh? Of course, it's as much about the taking part, but to prevent a field full of identikit Gagas and Morrisseys, here are 10 costume ideas on the house that might not have crossed your mind yet.
GORILLAZ
If four people could find a way to pull this off, let's face it, the competition might as well just pack up and go home. It would be even more impressive if you could somehow find a way to represent the huge roster of A-list guests that rock up for each subsequent Gorillaz record. Enlist your mates, but make sure you call dibs on your fave. Or just stereotype and get your Chinese friend to come as Noodle and, err, your Satan-worshipping mate to be Murdoc.
BENGA
Not exactly the hardest costume to get together - basically just a badass t-shirt and a lot of frizzy hair, with maybe a shoulder-bag full of beats to complete the look - but the crown prince of dubstep would be a costume crowd-pleaser. As long as you don't black up, that is. Rob Da Bank has actually called for a few mini-Bengas to grace the fields of the island, so it's really the least you can do in the way of saying thanks.
COLONEL GADAFFI
Not exactly a pop or rock star, but in terms of diva-dom no-one really comes close, do they? Blissfully unaware of his own farces and follies, Mr Gaddafi has spent this year exuding false confidence, appearing on state TV leaning out of a van and brandishing an umbrella while his country is under siege from opposition forces (it wasn't even raining), and taking shots - often literally - at anyone who dares cross his path. In our book that's prime diva behaviour. Plus, if anyone remains unimpressed by your costume, you can just claim you've actually come as Carlos Santana.
AMY WINEHOUSE
I'm sure there will be loads of Amys about, but if you fancy tackling the beehive, do your bit and pay your respects to one of the finest signers of this, or any, generation. In many ways the last rockstar, anyone giving a "Wino" outfit a good stab will no doubt make a good few friends at a festival packed with friendly faces.
THAT MILK CARTON FROM THE VIDEO FOR 'COFFEE & TV'
Blur's iconic "Milky" is one of the most recognisable and most loved figures in pop video history. Summing up all of life's highs and lows in one bittersweet promo for one bittersweet track, Milky has perhaps something of the frustrated popstar who lurks within all of us. Also, this is an outfit you can be creative with - go for cardboard (simple and effective, but liable to collapse in the rain), bodypaint (kinky and enticing although potentially a bit chilly), plastic body wrap (just weird) - the possibilities are endless.
FRED DURST
For the 9-year-old within me, seeing Fred Durst wandering around a field in England would be FRICKIN' AWESOME. I mean, yes, on Limp Bizkit's spongy-kneed, wrinkly comback tour he has proved himself about as sad as you can get, but to anyone born between, say, 1990 and 1994, there was a brief period where bands like Limp Bizkit and their nu-metal kind were the first contemporary rockstars we came across. And they were kickass. Plus, it would give you an excuse to wear three-quarter-lengths, the item of clothing you are always tempted by but never succumb to for ear of derision and ostracisation. Nothing to lose, my friend, Nothing. To. Lose.
SBTRKT
Be creactive with this one. One of Rockfeedback's fave arists of the year, SBTRKT is best known for his trademark Yoruba-inspired mask, but the rest of the outfit can be pretty much anything you want. Spandex, shirts for trousers, bubble-wrap, whatever - it really doesn't matter, there's no pre-set formula. He's playing, too, and turning up at his slot be-masked is bound to score you plaudits/backstage passes/hot babes, so there's really nothing to lose. Apart, if you don't make the eye-slits big enough, from your depth-perception.
BOWLING FOR SOUP
An excuse to spike up your hair and wear fat guy suits! Hurrah! Seriously, if you can find a few mates who'd be up for this, their perennial adolescent charm and gorgeously dumb outfits (please wear the blue suits from the video for ‘High School Never Ends’) would be a winner every time. This year, be the girl/guy all the bad guys/girls want.
LARRY DAVID
A rockstar of the heart, and certainly a diva of the head, everyone's favourite grumpy old bastard probably won't be represented at Bestival this year. That is, unless you take up the challenge. The bald patch would take some guys, and all those pastel colours and itchy nylon fabrics might get a bit trying over a four-day period, but it'd be worth it for all the times you could pick fights with food-stall attendants without impunity and describe literally anything as "prettaaaaaay, prettaaaaaay good".
BJORK
Yes, an obvious choice, but there is a lot of potential here. This year's Sunday headliner is one of pop's best loved oddballs, and has been through quite a few image changes throughout her sparkling time in pop music, so there's plenty to choose from. Do you go for the cutesy Sugarcubes-era maiden? The feisty paparazzi-warrior? The swan? Or something else entirely? There's the potential to be "just another Bjork", further added to by the fact that she's, y'know, headlining, but it's a safe bet and one that's very unlikley to come off badly.
A fair few ideas there, I'm sure you'll agree. Now get down to your local fabric shop, pick up a few industrial-sized bottles of PVA glue and starting creating! See you all there - if you can't spot me at first, I'm the one wandering around with the dudes who've come as the band from the cantina in Star Wars.
Artists in this article: Gorillaz, Benga, Blur, Limp Bizkit, SBTRKT, Bjork