Report: The Musos Awards, Sept 2002
By: Matt Tomiak
THE EVENT: The First Annual MUSOS
THE DATE: Tuesday, 3rd September '02
THE VENUE: Ocean, Hackney, London
Talk about keeping it real. 'If you can't play a note, you don't get a vote,' proudly boasted the organisers of the inaugural Musos awards ceremony - allegedly the 'Last Festival of The Summer' to boot. A true 'By the Musicians, for the musician's affair', Rockfeedback was a little apprehensive about the event: but being amongst some of the only Internet press invited to attend, we were undoubtedly here on merit.
... Yet would an event still in its embryonic stages be attended by the stars - or, indeed, by anyone at all? Queuing nervously, our initial fears concerning the class of celebrity the event would attract were not soothed by the disconcerting and, quite frankly, inexplicable appearance of former TV-soap performer, mid-90s crooner and granny's favourite Jerome Flynn entering the building. That prospect of free alcohol on offer all night inside the venue suddenly seemed very, very necessary.
The immediate, first impressions cast were positive, however, on our entrance into tonight's venue. The Hackney Ocean had been decorated to resemble a mini-festival site - this meant synthetic grass underfoot, beer-garden style plastic furniture and even genuine, full-size Portaloos (out of order, naturally). Classy. Yet, with time set aside for some shameless mingling prior to the gongs being dished out tonight, it was time to meet this evening's key characters...
Venturing tentatively around, all our initial, horrible Flynn/'Unchained Melody' memories were swiftly erased by the sight of the legendary 'Roses bass-plucker Mani himself. Never ones to pass up a brilliant photo opportunity, Mani cheerfully obliged a request for a snap (above).
But who's that tattooed, spiky-haired, non-more-rock fella grabbing a bevvy? Why, it's none other than Chris McCormack of Three Colours Red - and he's only brought the whole band (well, apart from drummer Keith Baxter) along with him! Does this call for an exclusive band shot? It most certainly does (as below)! And, don't forget: The mighty 3CR tour the country in November. It's great to have them back.
So, despite all this surge of activity, it's not even 8 O'clock yet - surely things can't get any better... Can they? Well, if someone had informed us approximately half an hour ago that Mani wouldn't be the most famous bassist we'd meet all night, of course, we'd have found it pretty hard to believe. Yet walking towards us, clear as day, is none other than New Order's Peter Hook. Our jaws are lifted from the ground and a pic is requested alongside the God-like Mancunian. But Hooky pauses a moment.
'Why,' the former Joy Division legend enquires inquisitively. We weren't expecting this. And so I blabber our appreciation and enjoyment of his past work, hoping that his good side will be triggered off.
A broad smile comes across his face. 'Oh well then,' he proclaims, 'of course you can.' SCORE.
What with such ongoings (and our healthy consumption of the provided liquid-delights), it's a wonder at this stage that we're able to retain any sense of balance. It's lucky we do, because who should appear through the door moments later, resplendent in camouflage jacket and shades, than Ian Brown. King Monkey himself. The man who fronted one of the greatest bands of all time. The man who Liam Gallagher saw with the Roses and inspired him to become a singer. Not just an idol to the fans, but an idol to the idols. So a photo is blagged with the guy.
Appropriately enough, the next musician we bump into is a man who apparently turned down the role of Mr Brown in the recent Madchester movie, '24 Hour Party People'. It's Lee Gorton of Alfie. He tells us he was also anxious as to the quality of the event, but like us, these worries have not so much been eliminated as crushed beyond all recognition. We are then informed that Alfie have recently been completing work on their third LP, but, tonight, Gorton's primary concern is to defeat Chris McCormack in the Celebrity Pool competition.
Oh, now it's time for the awards themselves to begin. Taking to the stage in front of a giant video screen, our hosts are a baseball-capped and quite definitely inebriated Johnny Vegas, and an extremely short-skirted Lauren Laverne.
The first category is BEST KEYBOARD PLAYER. The utterly deserving winner here is the Charlatans' Tony Rogers. Award number two is BEST NEW ACT. Sensitive guitar-janglers Haven are triumphant here, and dishearteningly, appear relatively sober. Oasis' Alan White picks up the Musos shield for BEST DRUMMER, but is on holiday in Sicily, so brother Steve (also a renowned sticksman) picks it up for him. As Johnny Vegas points out in one of his more printable outbursts, the winner of BEST VOCALIST has been 'nominated for more Brits than you can shake a stick at.' It's P.J. Harvey, then: also absent, but as respected a figure with her fellow musicians as you'll find in the industry.
Then things start to get really interesting. The victor of the BEST BASSIST award is next, and to a live clip of 'Blue Monday', Peter Hook rushes on stage to rapturous applause after waiting expectantly in the wings. He then proceeds to tell both presenters individually to 'Shut the f**k up', pushes some microphone stands over, swears some more, thanks Mani, declares the bassists' superiority over the lead guitarist despite the fact no-one ever wants anything to do with them, swears some more, and leaves again to more applause. Lauren Laverne looks somewhat unnerved. Peter will invade the stage and repeat aspects of his above behaviour on a number of occasions throughout the ceremony. Good man.
Following a brief performance by rising scene-entrants Big Sur, Charlatans' bassist John Blunt picks up the award for BEST LIVE ACT and continues the evening's trend with a profanity-laden, slightly incoherent 'acceptance speech' revolving around the greatness of West Bromwich, where John grew up. Currently in Los Angeles, Radiohead's Johnny Greenwood is the recipient of BEST LEAD GUITARIST. BEST SINGLE is won by that man Mr Ian Brown for the brilliant 'F.E.A.R.', and we're treated to the backwards-cycling video as well. Incidentally, and perhaps surprisingly, Brownie's words are the closest to a conventional acceptance speech we get tonight, as he pays tribute to the ceremony and his award, with the votes coming from fellow musicians only.
Look - there's Spiritualized's Jason Pierce! Smile, Jason!
Damon Gough, a.k.a. Badly Drawn Boy, celebrates winning BEST SONGWRITER by flicking a cigarette at a heckler, challenging him to repeat his jibe on-stage. Nitin Sawhney's 'Prophesy' wins BEST ALBUM, Mr. Nitin Sawhney looking a model of self-restraint as he collects the trophy. And the final award, the 'Muso's Muso' - like the Brits' 'Lifetime Achievement', but with credibility, is given to a true great. More than 25 years have passed since the release of The Jam's debut single 'In the City', but the widespread acclaim which has greeted Paul Weller's new solo 45 'It's Written In the Stars' proves that the Modfather's still got it, and the worthy winner of this prize.
So, with further ensuing partying (and a wrecked Johnny Vegas going on to throw up everywhere afterwards), that was The Musos - drunken, disorderly, and utterly rock n' roll: as unabashed as these kind of bashes go. More soon, please?
Photo-Credit: Eve Conquest