The Black Velvets - ‘Get On Your Life’ (Vertigo)
17 Dec 2004
debut 45 from newly signed, guns 'n' roses-apeing newcomers; release - '04.
There are a few, hidden rules to the debut single. One. Don't start with your best; there'll be nothing to follow it, and critics and doubters alike will continue to condescendingly remark upon each forthcoming release as 'a crippling disappointment after such a promising inauguration'. Two. Don't rip off other bands; you'll be typecast for life. Three. Treat it as a statement-of-intent; a song that could be re-released twelve months later and still bear relevance.
Oh dear, The Black Velvets. One. 'Get On Your Life' is innocuously produced, post-Darkness, tawdry cock-rock clambering with as much effect as five Viagra on a freshly simmering corpse. Two. It's identical in part to the Foo Fighters' 'Times Like These'. Three. If we heard this again in the next twelve months, we'd possibly invoke a mass-slaughtering upon all members of the rock-fraternity that ever raised a devil-horn and weren't being ironic. We're up for a good time. At the moment, just not with these guys.