The Royal We - The Royal We (Geographic / Domino)
2/5
On paper, The Royal We are almost too good to be true. Signed to Domino affiliates Geographic, sporting celebrity fans in Belle and Sebastian and even sharing a drummer with Franz off-shoot Correcto, the Glasgow based six piece are certainly fully paid up members of the Scottish Indie Mafia. Even the press release reads like a Stuart Murdoch sleevenote. That they're to split after the release of this eight track mini-album, whether planned or not, further displays an understanding of the myth making process central to all great pop music. They know their pop music history and they use that knowledge wisely. Indeed, their mixing in the right circles means I've long been aware of the band, particularly the Arcade Fire in hairclips harmonising of 'All The Rage'. So, it's with great expectancy that I approach the remaining seven tracks, hoping they've not strategically built a long, hard rod for their own backs.
And, that's precisely what they have done. This is a self-absorbed, insufferably smug secret handshake of a record. Sneering, indier-than-thou cool kids with impeccable record collections are the stock and trade of the best underground music, but with only a handful of acceptable-at-best songs, it's a little hard to swallow and, more importantly, impossible to love. That the barely in tune (not necessarily a bad thing), barely even there 'Back and Forth Forever' is on the album at all, let alone the song chosen to open it is perhaps a telling indication of the paucity of songs in The Royal We canon. Couple this with the closing cover of 'Wicked Game', which incidentally turns a stalwart guilty pleasure into an apathetic shrugged shoulders, and it's a rather anaemic collection. As short albums go, it's not exactly Station To Station.
Granted, 'All The Rage' and 'I Hate Rock N Roll' are equal amounts teenage sass and libidinal fire, like a particularly charismatic episode of Brat Camp. And it's the incongruent quality of these moments that highlights the rest of the album as the too clinical, too knowing, too cold collection it is. It's the reason why Twee comes in for such criticism: clique, closed-doors and completely self-involved. The Royal We is the reunion with an old friend that spends the whole night looking over your shoulder waiting for someone more 'important' to arrive. That's not a comfortable feeling. Fr many detractors, Belle and Sebastian possessed the same noxious quality, but at least their music warranted the arrogance.
Perhaps I'm being a little unfair, a little judgemental, infringing my own values upon what should be an objective exercise. The Royal We aren't a bad band. They just seem like terrible people. Not that it should matter, but when you're being invited into the happenings of the 'in-crowd' that's the last thing you want to see.
Stream four tracks from 'The Royal We' HERE.
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