Garrison / Walter Walter - 'Panic' / 'Ask' (Sorepoint)
3/5
By: Thomas Hannan
There are many times in life when this certain correspondent wonders to himself, 'What would Morrissey think?' It's come to be a sort of moral compass, a good taste filter, something that can be called upon at almost every moment in day to day living (that is, of course, unless you're stumbling home at an early hour in the morning and fancy a big, greasy kebab) as a reassuring, infallible guardian angel of thought, if you like. So here we've got a couple of Smiths covers done by well-regarded, self-important Emo bands. What would Morrissey think indeed?
He'd probably love it, the contrary old codger. Garrison's version of 'Panic' sounds pretty much like any other American band covering an old classic, bashing it out at a quicker pace, adding the odd harmony, turning up the guitars, making the drums sound like war... except this is a higher class of song. Come on, we were all thinking it'd be awful, so be thankful it isn't. Garrison pass.
Walter Walter is better known as Walter Schreifels, he of the Rival Schools of yore. He just about passes too. His version of 'Ask' strays a little more from the template by emphasising the rhythm over anything, but continues in that theme of essentially just playing it faster, harder, and striving to sound like he means it. But on the originals, half the fun was that The Smiths didn't sound fussed about these extraordinary songs at all. They just happened. There are other changes to become accustomed to, for example, it'll take a little while to get used to Schreifels' thick US drawl singing about a 'bucktooth girl from Luxembourg' - and we'll bet it's the first (and probably last) time the word 'Humberside' will been used in a Garrison song...
However, these are beautiful songs. Try as hard as you want to ruin them (and no, that isn't what's happened here), it's nigh-on impossible. If, heaven forbid, there was a DJ Sammy club remix of 'Girlfriend In A Coma' it'd at least be the greatest cheesy club remix ever - because these tunes are incredible. So, what would Morrissey think? Well, he knew that all along, didn't he?
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