The Envy Corps - Story Problem (Vertigo)
1/5
By: Jim Carroll
If The Envy Corps are indeed some sort of squadron, presumably they have stationed themselves within striking distance of Isaac Brock's trailer. There they have set up camp; lying in wait and jealously longing that the Modest Mouse front man would provide them some form of succour. With enough persistence, bloody minded determination and fortitude then maybe, just maybe, he would deign to throw them a tune. Judging by this showing however, that particular campaign seems as if it will be as futile, protracted and unwinnable as Vietnam, Iraq and the Hundred Years War combined.
This is bog standard, by the numbers indie rock from the Iowan trio. It comes across as some sort of hybrid between Modest Mouse and James - just with none of the invention of the former and none of the endearing wit of the latter. It is so banal and inoffensive that I actually felt a bit offended - the whole things sounds as if it could have been used as the theme tune to a mid 90s US sitcom. As Luke Pettipoole sings saccharinely with a faux Brit pop sneer; 'you accused me of wearing movies in my eyes, bit I still love you, of course I love you!' I actually became concerned that the lyrics were so sickly sweet and syrupy that they might give me diabetes.
The whole song continues undeviatingly around its faithful two chords; and you are left waiting with baited breath for the redeeming feature of some sort of hooky chorus that never comes. Instead it descends into a blokey shouty sing a long outro that is such a poor man's, sanitized version of Modest Mouse that it had me daydreaming as to whether Envy Corps could change their name to something more befitting of a tribute band. Reticent Rat perhaps?
Story Problem's not outrageously bad, just more anodyne than a MASH prescription of morphine. There are literally thousands of bands making music like this, the majority of them doing it a bit better, and with a fair proportion of them having done it a good ten years ago. It leaves the listener thinking what is the point with such anachronisms? Take my advice and withdraw now.
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