Har Mar Superstar - 'The Handler' (Record Collection)
4/5
By: Kevin Molloy
Fat and sweaty men wearing nothing but ill-fitting y-fronts will never be sexy. This has been a truth unchallenged for many-a-year. Yet, and not without a due sense of abashment, we must declare a rather strange attraction to this self-professed 'superstar'. Perhaps we're fat-and-sweaty men fetishists. It could be because he's pretty well-minted by now (we live in a material world). But basically it's because he's made a pop album so perfect in every dimension it could double up as a mathematician's wet-dream, whilst retaining all the grime and immediacy of any contemporary rock band.
From the outset you know you're onto something new. Opener 'Transit' has a faux call-and-response playing the track out, with a group of (doubtlessly) nubile young ladies echoing the words, 'Har Mar is so sexy/He gets all the ladies/I want him to touch me/'Cos I want to have his babies'. Yes, he does try it on live, and yes, the audience really do sing it back. The sleazy rapport is made all the more confounding by the musical genre with which it's paired... a take upon every incarnation of The Jacksons throughout their various careers. 'Body Request' is 'Thriller'-era Wacko, whilst 'Sugar Pie' is a pure distilment of the J-5's clean-faced disco-pop.
The result is a welcome booster shot in popular music's derrière, a floundering genre in our age. There are a couple of slower numbers, but their existence simply highlights the romping energy of the rest of the LP. It's been far too long since the scene has been graced by something that is this much fun without losing purpose, something both listenable and danceable, something so inexplicably sleazy with a spotless, shimmering production ethic. Perhaps one reason is in Har Mar's influences; the songwriting on The Handler is from a different age entirely. The songs are structured with the knowing wit of the Tin Pan Alley writer, whilst the intent of the entire album is simply to get you on your feet, or at least out of your rut, and with a delirious grin on your face.
And that smile isn't set to wane for a good half an hour; creating a standout-track listing for this LP would entail listing all twelve tracks in order, and removing two or three at random. 'Save The Strip' is just fantastic, 'nuff said. 'Back That Camel Up' is the natural successor to his previous 'Elephant Walk' (the dance this time seems to be 'jump, jump, spit'... nice). The female backing vocalists prove their sultry credentials here once more, somehow making 'come on, let me back my camel up' feel like the dirtiest and most exciting invitation you'll receive this year. The lust continues in stimulating and ridiculous measures, as in the now-ubiquitous 'DUI's 'I'm so wet I have to get my wellies', whilst 'Cut Me Up' has a sexier set of climactic gasps than Axl Rose's 'Rocket Queen', Zeppelin's 'Whole Lotta Love', Madonna and Lara Croft combined.
HMS is a one-man pillar of sordid corruption and (claimed) sexual promiscuity... basically, he's a dirty bastard. But you really do love him for it, and for the mission he sets himself, as he raps with bravado, 'My duty's to save the party'. Consider the party in full swing, and we'll leave you with 'Har mar superstar, taking back the charge'...
Artists in this article: Har Mar Superstar
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