Steriogram - 'Schmack!' (EMI)
2/5
By: Thomas Hannan
'Schmack!' could stake a very strong claim at being the catchiest record ever written. Every minute of it is impossible to ignore - something of a work of evil genius. Because whilst the inescapability of every melody, no matter how small, is certainly a feat of songcraft that eludes many of even our finest songwriters, they've used the gift to create possibly the most maddening collection of tunes that have ever graced the same disc.
The cheeky, happy go lucky pop-punkers that they are, we'll wager that the record was designed to have two possible effects - both of which they will probably find very, very funny. One - it generates utter, unprecedented devotion, the kind of fanbase who could reel off the lyrics to any of these twelve tracks in their sleep as they're so ingrained on the memory that they're incapable of talking in any other capacity. Two - it drives people utterly, irreparably mad to the point of mental deterioration, so the only functioning members of society left are those of the former brainwashed group, and thus the Steriogram plan for world domination is complete in all its maddening, sadistic glory. Chilling, no?
But there are a number of dangers to having catchiness as the be all and end all of coming up with a decent tune. First, it could land you in camp number two described above, and turn a legion vehemently against the band, to the brink of threatening physical violence upon their persons (anyone remember the Dum Dums?). On the other hand, the record could burn out in a matter of weeks, playing it becoming unnecessary once the listener realises they know precisely how every single bit of it pans out. Luckily for Steriogram, in amongst the inescapable joking around of 'Schmack!', there are a couple of properly timeless (that is, if you can stomach them), tunes to save them from such a fate.
One you will already be familiar with if you've switched on a television and are not deaf is the manic, frenzied banality of 'Walkie Talkie Man', the tune that contributed to Apple shifting another couple of million iPods and Steriogram making their way over from New Zealand to the brains of the entire world. Don't let those American accents fool you. It's the embodiment of their art - the unfathomably infectious guitar riff, perfectly harmonised vocals and mastery of the quiet then loud dynamic all behind the manic spoken word ranting that litters the entire LP. Imagine the speeches in Sum 41 songs if they happened all the time. Really.
Sometimes, it's so unique that you can't help but admire the queerness of even attempting it, let alone pulling it off. If you're in the mood for counting specific tracks as pearls, then there are many to be found - 'Roadtrip', 'Was The Day' and especially 'Tsunami' all have the capacity to be placed up there with classics of a genre in desperate need for some, but it's the likes of 'Fat & Proud' and the misplaced pride of 'White Trash' that are truly inexcusable: all the more so for them being some of the most contagious parts of the entire affair. Whether Steriogram serve to infuriate you or provide you with a myriad of nonsense to sing along to for years to come, you must at least admire the skill in being quite this amusingly irritating.
Artists in this article: Steriogram
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